"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
(Authored and published by Marianne Williamson)
Saturday, January 30, 2010
you think!
Everyday I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If am not there, I go to work.. Robert Orben
When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.. Rich Hall
Success means having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money.... Johnny Cash
The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of 500 yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man... G.K.
Chestertone
Et cetera - the expression that makes people think you know more than you do....Herbert Prochnow
Cynicism is merely the art of seeing things the way they are instead of the way they ought to be... Oscar Wilde
Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.. Alexander Pope
Both the optimist and pessimist contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute... George Bernard Shaw
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?....Jean Cocteau
When you go to work, if your name is on the building, you're rich. If your name is on your desk, you're middle class. And if your name is on your shirt, you're poor.. Rich Hall
Success means having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money.... Johnny Cash
The word good has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of 500 yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man... G.K.
Chestertone
Et cetera - the expression that makes people think you know more than you do....Herbert Prochnow
Cynicism is merely the art of seeing things the way they are instead of the way they ought to be... Oscar Wilde
Blessed is the man who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.. Alexander Pope
Both the optimist and pessimist contribute to society. The optimist invents the aeroplane, the pessimist the parachute... George Bernard Shaw
We must believe in luck. For how else can we explain the success of those we don't like?....Jean Cocteau
quotes
Never stop because you are afraid- you are never so likely to be wrong. Never keep a line of retreat: it is a wretched invention. The difficult is what takes a little time; the impossible is what takes a little longer
- Fridtjof Nansen
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, for life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth- Khalil Gibran
When the people contend for their liberty, they seldom get anything by their victory but new masters
- George Savile
Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful
- Samuel Johnson
That all who are happy are equally happy, is not true. A peasant and a philosopher may be equally satisfied, but not equally happy. Happiness consists in the multiplicity of consciousness
- Samuel Johnson
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast - Ed Howe
If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law -Ed Howe
An optimist is someone who fills in his crossword puzzle in ink - Clement Shorter
Dont worry about temptation, as you grow older it starts avoiding you -Farmers almanac
- Fridtjof Nansen
Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you. You may give them love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts. You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit even in your dreams. You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you, for life goes not backwards nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth- Khalil Gibran
When the people contend for their liberty, they seldom get anything by their victory but new masters
- George Savile
Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful
- Samuel Johnson
That all who are happy are equally happy, is not true. A peasant and a philosopher may be equally satisfied, but not equally happy. Happiness consists in the multiplicity of consciousness
- Samuel Johnson
A woman is as old as she looks before breakfast - Ed Howe
If you want to know how old a woman is, ask her sister-in-law -Ed Howe
An optimist is someone who fills in his crossword puzzle in ink - Clement Shorter
Dont worry about temptation, as you grow older it starts avoiding you -Farmers almanac
Simon says and other quotes
'Jenny that was extraordinary. Unfortunately, extraordinarily bad'
'You have just invented a new form of torture'
'If you would have been singing like this 2,000 years ago, people would have stoned you'
- Simon Cowell
'Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does'
- Al Bernstein
Artificial intelligence is no match for human stupidity - red Green
A great many people think they are thinking, when they are actually rearranging their prejudices- William James
'You have just invented a new form of torture'
'If you would have been singing like this 2,000 years ago, people would have stoned you'
- Simon Cowell
'Even more exasperating than the guy who thinks he knows it all is the one who really does'
- Al Bernstein
Artificial intelligence is no match for human stupidity - red Green
A great many people think they are thinking, when they are actually rearranging their prejudices- William James
Disorder
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
__________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
__________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me?
__________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gett'in laid!
__________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shitt'in me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
__________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
__________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
__________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
__________________________
And the best for last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
Animal Instincts
A married couple at the Zoo, walk past the gorilla enclosure.
Says the woman: ' Mark, do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behaviour???
Look around, if no one looking, I'll expose one of my breasts to it and see how horny it gets just as men do'.
Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.
'See - says the woman - 'Now I know why you react the way you do, men can't control their animal instincts just like gorillas can’t’.
Says Mark : 'Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens'.
The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is now desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Says Mark : 'This is incredible, now pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let us* *see what will happen'!!!
The woman pulls her skirt up turns around with her bum to the gorilla which by now, extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts yanking the clothes off her.
The woman yells: ' Mark, what do I do now? Please, help me’!!!
Mark replies: 'Now give it one of the excuses that you usually give me:
That you don't feel like it
That you have a headache
That you're tired
That your throat is aching
That it is still too early
That I must understand you as a woman
That you are depressed
That you are in one of those days
That you are having a very busy week
That all you need is just to cuddle up
That you're tensed up
That you have to wake up very early tomorrow
That you woke up very early today
That you walked for long and your feet are aching
That caresses and hugs is all that you want today
That you're so tensed up that all you want is a good massage to make you relax
That you feel like watching TV
That you don't wanna miss the soapies
That you're from the Hair salon and therefore you can't move and spoil your hair
Go on, explain all that to the gorilla and if it understands, if you can persuade it, then I admit that men’s behaviour resembles that of gorillas and promise you that from today on I'll accept your excuses'!
Says the woman: ' Mark, do you know that gorillas are the only animals which resemble men in their behaviour???
Look around, if no one looking, I'll expose one of my breasts to it and see how horny it gets just as men do'.
Mary then exposes one of her breasts, and, sure enough the gorilla begins to get a hard-on and grabs the bars of the enclosure as if it wanted to break free.
'See - says the woman - 'Now I know why you react the way you do, men can't control their animal instincts just like gorillas can’t’.
Says Mark : 'Now expose both breasts and let us see what happens'.
The woman exposes both breasts to the gorilla and it gets very excited and is now desperately trying to escape from the enclosure.
Says Mark : 'This is incredible, now pull your skirt up, turn around and expose your bum to it and let us* *see what will happen'!!!
The woman pulls her skirt up turns around with her bum to the gorilla which by now, extremely aroused, breaks free from the enclosure, grabs the woman and starts yanking the clothes off her.
The woman yells: ' Mark, what do I do now? Please, help me’!!!
Mark replies: 'Now give it one of the excuses that you usually give me:
That you don't feel like it
That you have a headache
That you're tired
That your throat is aching
That it is still too early
That I must understand you as a woman
That you are depressed
That you are in one of those days
That you are having a very busy week
That all you need is just to cuddle up
That you're tensed up
That you have to wake up very early tomorrow
That you woke up very early today
That you walked for long and your feet are aching
That caresses and hugs is all that you want today
That you're so tensed up that all you want is a good massage to make you relax
That you feel like watching TV
That you don't wanna miss the soapies
That you're from the Hair salon and therefore you can't move and spoil your hair
Go on, explain all that to the gorilla and if it understands, if you can persuade it, then I admit that men’s behaviour resembles that of gorillas and promise you that from today on I'll accept your excuses'!
Thots
I've learned...that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned...that money doesn't buy class.
I've learned...that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned...that the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.
Need
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said...
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
I've learned...that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned...that money doesn't buy class.
I've learned...that it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned...that under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned...that the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?
I've learned...that to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned...that the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.
Need
A girl asked a guy if he thought she was pretty, He said...no.
She asked him if he would want to be with her forever...and he said no.
She then asked him if she were to leave would he cry, and once again he replied with a no.
She had heard enough. As she walked away, tears streaming down her face the boy grabbed her arm and said...
You're not pretty you're beautiful.
I don't want to be with you forever, I NEED to be with you forever.
And I wouldn't cry if you walked away...I'd die...
Words
TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation. A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, 'Public Utilities Board.' There was silence. She repeated, 'PUB.' There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard a lady's voice, 'Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is. 'Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just 'hello' instead of 'PUB'
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?' The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand, you need television.'
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectations on changing the spouse's character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying, which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered, 'you should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perceptions. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, 'Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?' Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, 'the husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?' Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, 'How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.' The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, 'Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.' Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, 'Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?' The father-in-law answered in a smile, 'Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you.'
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS
A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested 'I am looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one.' The SDU officer said, 'your requirements, please.' 'Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need a companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest.' The officer listened carefully and replied, 'I understand, you need television.'
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that 'It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character.'
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectations on changing the spouse's character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness. It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying, which carries the meaning that 'A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation.' Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, 'Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school.' On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, 'Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker.' She answered, 'you should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you.'
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perceptions. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, 'Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?' Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, 'the husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?' Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, 'How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman.' The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, 'Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you.' Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Buzzwords
I had hardly heard about buzzwords until I came to the LSE and then I got hit by them from every corner.
From, empowerment, participation, feminization, poverty reduction, .... all you need to do to be a serious policy person is to use one of these words in your paper and you immediately become a member of that esteemed section of society trying to save the world.
They call it mainstreaming and it seems like they appear to keep the development agencies on their toes, keep things in the discourse (is that a buzzword) sphere.
There is always a rush to create a new buzzword once an older one seems to be losing its fizz.
I have been racking my brain to see if I could come up with a new one, but I have not had much luck as yet, but not to worry am still working on it and maybe one day I will get it right.
So watch this space...
From, empowerment, participation, feminization, poverty reduction, .... all you need to do to be a serious policy person is to use one of these words in your paper and you immediately become a member of that esteemed section of society trying to save the world.
They call it mainstreaming and it seems like they appear to keep the development agencies on their toes, keep things in the discourse (is that a buzzword) sphere.
There is always a rush to create a new buzzword once an older one seems to be losing its fizz.
I have been racking my brain to see if I could come up with a new one, but I have not had much luck as yet, but not to worry am still working on it and maybe one day I will get it right.
So watch this space...
Grafitti
I am nobody; nobody is perfect; that means am perfect
Just when I was used to yesterday; along came today
Sycophancy rules - if its okay by you
Help wanted: Telepath - you know where to apply
Deja moo: the feeling that you have heard this bullshit before
Dwn wth vwls
My daughter thinks am nosy. At least that's what she says in her diary
Just when I was used to yesterday; along came today
Sycophancy rules - if its okay by you
Help wanted: Telepath - you know where to apply
Deja moo: the feeling that you have heard this bullshit before
Dwn wth vwls
My daughter thinks am nosy. At least that's what she says in her diary
Management Course
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the
doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob,
after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a
great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,
very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field..
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT
COURSE
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the
doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour.
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob,
after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbour,' she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes
me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.
Lesson 2:
A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a
great opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very,
very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey, 'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field..
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly
dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT
COURSE
They walk among us II
NEW YORK - resident Kathy Evans brought humiliation to her friends and family
when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire..'
Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.
The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
readily know the answer... 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
but I have no idea how large they would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.
'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'
To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let's see.... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Caution...they walk among us!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'Where?'
They walk among us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....'
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'..
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the car boot!!
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us !
------------------------------------------------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.
'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this!!)
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
------------------------------------------------------------------
And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks!!
A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS
TRUE STORY
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
when she set a new standard for stupidity with her appearance
on the popular TV show, 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire..'
Evans, a 32-year-old wife and mother of two, got stuck on the first question
and proceeded to make what fans of the show are dubbing 'the absolute worst use
of lifelines ever.' After being introduced to the show's host
Meredith Vieira, Evans was posed with a typically easy initial $100 question.
The question was: 'Which of the following is the largest?'
A) A Peanut
B) An Elephant
C) The Moon
D) Hey, who you calling large?
Immediately Mrs. Evans was struck with an all consuming panic as she did not
readily know the answer... 'Hmm, oh boy, that's a toughie,' said Evans,
as Vieira did her level best to hide her disbelief.
'I mean, I'm sure I've heard of some of these things before,
but I have no idea how large they would be.'
Evans made the decision to use the first of her three lifelines, the 50/50.
Answers A and D were removed, leaving her to decide which was
bigger, an elephant or the moon. However, faced with an incredibly
easy question, Evans still remained unsure.
'Oh! It removed the two I was leaning towards!' exclaimed Evans.
'Darn. I think I better phone a friend.'
Mrs. Evans asked to be connected with her friend
Betsy, who is an office assistant.
'Hi Betsy! How are you? This is Kathy! I'm on TV!' said Evans,
wasting the first seven seconds of her call.
'Ok, I got an important question. Which of the following is the largest?
B, an elephant, or C, the moon. 15 seconds hun.'
Betsy quickly replied that the answer was C, the moon.
Evans proceeded to argue with her friend for the remaining ten seconds.
'Betsy, are you sure?' said Evans. 'How sure are you? Duh, that can't be it.'
To everyone's astonishment, the moronic Evans declined to take her friend's
advice. 'I just don't know if I can trust Betsy. She's not all that bright.
So I think I'd like to ask the audience,' said Evans.
Asked to vote on the correct answer, the audience returned 98% in favor of
answer C, 'The Moon.' Having used up all her lifelines,
Evans then made the dumbest choice of her life.
'Wow, seems like everybody is against what I'm thinking,' said the
too-stupid-to-live Evans. 'But you know, sometimes you just got to go with
your gut. So, let's see.... I'm going to have to go with B, an elephant. Final answer.'
Evans sat before the dumbfounded audience, the only one waiting with bated breath -
and was told that she was wrong, and that the answer was in fact, C, 'The Moon.'
Caution...they walk among us!
Some guy bought a new fridge for his house.To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.'
For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.'
The next day someone stole it!
They walk amongst us!
--------------------------
One day I was walking down the beach with
some friends when someone shouted....
'Look at that dead bird!'
Someone looked up at the sky and said...'Where?'
They walk among us!
--------------------------
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction was north because he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?'
My brother explained that the sun rises in the east and has for sometime. She shook her head and said,
'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff....'
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach.
She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'..
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped.
She keeps it in the car boot!!
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman
with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain.
My friend said, 'Ouch! The chain must rip out every time she turns her head!"
I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us !
--------------------------
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.
The woman there smiled and told me not to worry
because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands.
'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived yet?'...
(I work with professionals like this!!)
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------
While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.
He thought about it for some time then said 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.
They Walk Among Us!
--------------------------
And last, but not least:
Dumb as a box of Rocks!!
A VERY GOOD EXAMPLE OF THE KIND OF REPRESENTATION WE HAVE IN CONGRESS
TRUE STORY
A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Nancy Pelosi happened to appear. Ms Pelosi took the opportunity to schmooze the good doctor a bit and asked him a question with which he was most at ease.
'Would you mind telling me, Doctor,' she asked, 'how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?'
'Nothing is easier,' he replied. 'You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.'
'What sort of question?' asked Pelosi.
Well, you might ask, 'Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?''
Pelosi thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, 'You wouldn't happen to have another example would you? I must confess I don't know much about history.'
They walk among us
I was at the checkout of a K-Mart. The check-out-chick rang up $46.64 charge. I gave her a fifty dollar bill. She gave me back $46.64. I gave the money back to her and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favor. She became indignant and informed me she was Educated and knew what she was doing, and returned the money again. I departed the store with the $46.64.
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free' She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us! One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where'?
They Walk Among Us! While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'
They Walk Among Us!! I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern Standard time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, yes.'
They Walk Among Us! My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot.
They Walk Among Us! My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that VB slabs were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 slabs. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'
They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small takeaway pizza. He appeared to be alone. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6.'
Yes, They Walk Among Us!
......... and they Reproduce, and Worst of all ............
THEY VOTE !!!!!
I walked into a Starbucks with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a Latte. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little chalkboard that said 'buy one-get one free.' 'They're already buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free' She handed me my free Lattes and I walked out the door.
They Walk Among Us! One day I was walking down the beach with some Friends when one of them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said, 'Where'?
They Walk Among Us! While looking at a house, my brother asked the real Estate agent which direction was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook her head and said, 'Oh I don't keep up with all that stuff.'
They Walk Among Us!! I used to work in technical support for a 24/7 call centre. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was open. I told him, 'The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.' He responded, 'Is that Eastern Standard time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, yes.'
They Walk Among Us! My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot.
They Walk Among Us! My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that VB slabs were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 slabs. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.
They Walk Among Us! I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'
They Walk Among Us! While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small takeaway pizza. He appeared to be alone. The cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6.'
Yes, They Walk Among Us!
......... and they Reproduce, and Worst of all ............
THEY VOTE !!!!!
Welcome Note
Hello people,
this is my first blog (not sure why!!).
Seems like someone thinks I have something to share. (Not sure if I do)
All I will do here is out the things that interest me and hopefully it will interest you too.
Has to do with my mood actually and you will need to bear with me.
A lot of things to stir a (healthy) discussion might also come up once in a while.
I will try to stir away from thorny issues but of one comes up please feel free to share your thought.
With that I hope I get enough hits (I think there is cash to be made here)
this is my first blog (not sure why!!).
Seems like someone thinks I have something to share. (Not sure if I do)
All I will do here is out the things that interest me and hopefully it will interest you too.
Has to do with my mood actually and you will need to bear with me.
A lot of things to stir a (healthy) discussion might also come up once in a while.
I will try to stir away from thorny issues but of one comes up please feel free to share your thought.
With that I hope I get enough hits (I think there is cash to be made here)
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